crimson-uncovered:

Calling your submissive “clingy” is damaging.

When you submit to someone, you give them your all. You spend a significant amount of emotional energy on wanting to please them and spend time with them. You’re owned, and in a way, so are your thoughts. So are your feelings. 

It’s devastating, then, when you’re told that you are too much. Too needy for attention. Too demanding. You make yourself vulnerable to this person by allowing yourself to show genuine affection, only to hear that they want less of it. That hurts. You feel annoying. You feel like apologizing for caring about them. You feel like they don’t want you as much as you want them, and that has got to be one of the worst ways to feel in a relationship. 

I felt it, and it fucked me up. It made me too afraid to show affection towards people I genuinely care about, lest I scare them off. It made me push people away and hide my feelings. Who wants to be the “needy girlfriend,” right? 

Scew that. I am a reasonable person. I will not be demanding endless amounts of your attention, especially when I know you’re busy. I will not be blowing your phone up with messages and then sit around and wait for a response. I have things to do. But if you own me, that means I love you and it’s mutual. That means you’re getting every ounce of my affection, and I expect you to want it. If I’m yours, I’ve already determined that you deserve it. But you also have the responsibility of reciprocating. It doesn’t have to be on my level. I don’t require heart-eyes emojis; that can be my thing. I just need to know that you care, too. Calling me clingy, needy, or demanding is a surefire way to make me think that you don’t. There are plenty of ways to say, “Kitten, I’m busy but I’ll talk to you as soon as I have a moment, okay?”

The bottom line is that calling me clingy means you’re not worth clinging to.